Letter to My Child - I Knew Better
This donor egg letter explains the moment intuition took over. Hear why choosing a donor was the best decision for our family and our future child.
This is part of an ongoing series of donor egg letter entries that trace our emotional evolution from the first days of donor searching to the moment we held our child. Each letter captures a specific milestone in the 'heart-work' of donor conception, offering a raw and progressive look at how we navigated gratitude, grief, and the ultimate joy of becoming a family. In today’s episode, we explore the 'I Knew Better' moment—the turning point where intuition finally outweighed the fear.
DISCLAIMER: For informational purposes only; NOT medical, legal, or financial advice. Decisions should be made in consultation with licensed professionals. © 2026 Donor Egg Diary. All rights reserved. Personal use only.
To my dearest little one,
I’m writing this because I want you to know...
there were moments, before we met, when it felt like I had missed you.
The days just kept passing,
and sometimes the silence in this house was so loud
it felt like it was trying to tell me the window had closed.
It would have been so easy to just give up.
To believe that the timing was wrong,
or that the path to find you had grown too quiet to follow.
But I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t.
Deep down, in the part of me that was already your mother...
I knew better.
I knew you weren’t 'missed.' I knew you weren’t a 'maybe.'
I knew you were out there,
and you were simply waiting for the right moment to arrive.
Even when the wait felt like a lifetime, I could still feel you.
I could already feel the warmth of your head against my chest.
I refused to believe you weren’t coming,
because I could already feel the space you were meant to fill.
I held onto that 'soon' I promised you,
because I knew that no matter how winding the road got,
it was still the road to you.
I wasn’t losing time.
I was just holding the door open until you were ready to walk through.
I always knew you would find your way to me.
I love you,
Your Mom